Sanity or insanity

How do we define sanity and who are we to judge? In my life, I have experienced a lot. Enough to believe in the power of prayer. Enough to believe in existence of God/Creator/Universe. I have seen many people taking the spiritual pass in many different ways. Some seem more amazing and odd then others; and yet always scary for me.

One such pass is my father's pass. He is a monk and has dedicated his life to God. Watching him go through enormous transformation was and still is a mystery. How can one person dedicate himself or herself to such a pass? Where did he get his strength to face rejection and many questions? How did he keep the glimpse of sanity when others labeled him as insane?

My experience of growing up next to my father is a strong engraving in my memory. It is an image that I have rejected as a child and a teenager. Yet, as an adult I question my values as I am walking along my own spiritual pass. Was my father not as insane as I believed? Were his experiences real? Will I be labeled as insane by people around me, if I make similar choices?

Suddenly the boundaries of sanity have moved. Without the boundaries I feel insecure. My ego is keen to go back to the old habits and false sense of security. However, there is no way back...

Flying

My wings are open.
I am ready to fly.
My heart is filled with joy and excitement.
I am filled in anticipation to see the Universe.

Next to me is an old man.
He is here to lead the way.
“Keep your eyes on the light” – he tells me.
“No matter what, I am right here next to you, even if you cannot see me”.
“Open your heart and let your soul lead the way”.

And so I let myself free.
I allow my wings carry me as my soul takes me into unknown places.
I am filled with ecstasy and overwhelmed by my experience.
I talk to angels, bath in the light and let never-ending light pass through me.
I feel alive.

Change is within us

The change around us starts with the change within us. It can be hard to believe. However, in order to make a change on the outside we need to make a change on the inside first. Change within brings different attitude, different response to events and thus eventually brings the change in our world.

This change within may mean that we no longer want to comply with our environment, which includes our job, family boundaries and personal values. We are driven to establish new environment and new boundaries. This process could be scary but it is worth it.

Don't wait for change to happen on the outside or in the world. Make a start within and you'll be amazed how much power this inner change has.

Are you a vegeterian?

I am a vegetarian (i.e. I don't eat any type of meat products such as beef, chicken or sea food). I occasionally eat milk products and use eggs in cooking (which is very rare).

People ask me about vegetarianism from time to time and wonder if it has affected my health. Vegetarianism has definitely had very positive affect on my health and well being. My immune system has become much stronger, since I've become vegetarian. My iron level has finally managed to balance to its normal level. Prior to becoming a vegetarian I used to have low iron levels, even though I ate meat on regular basis and took supplements. I feel overall improvement and I am very happy about my choice.

I try to be very educated about my eating habits and make sure that I balance my diet and get all the nutrients my body needs. Vegetarianism is not the sort of thing a person can step into blindly. If meat is taken out of the diet, it needs to be replaced with adequately nutritional substitutes.

Anyhow, if you are vegetarian, you'll agree with me and probably will have a lot more to add...
If you are not a vegetarian, this post is just an insight.

To tell the truth, this is my insight into myself.

Letting go

I believe that learning to let go is a very important concept of life and growth. We develop lots of attachments and believes in our lives. We rely on these attachments and believes. We allow our lives to be driven by these believes and controlled by our attachments. That's why we need to learn to let go of these attachments and believes. Letting go helps us to learn something new and expend our consciousness.

I believe it is important to let go not by means of force but instead with full awareness, understand, love and acceptance. Once I let go of something, I have a unique feeling of freedom and joy. I can then allow something new into my life.

Of course, I have many attachments and believes in my life. However, I have experienced the joy of letting go and I would like to have it as part of my life.

Learning to take responsibility

It's been a very long time since my last post. So, perhaps, I should put some of my thoughts down in writing.

Learning is a never ending journey with no limitations. I guess one of the biggest lessons that I am in the process of learning is respect and love for myself. I have been learning this concept for many years now. However, just like spiral, this concept has many levels. Uncovering these levels is a truly amazing journey.

Our lives are filled with expectations, which we impose on ourselves or which we allow others to impose on us. Often we expect others to understand and meet our needs. So, as a result, we focus too much on the world and people around us and too little on ourselves and on within us.

I believe that I am the creator of my life. Everything in my life is what I have created. People around me are not more than a reflection of me and what I am within myself. Even the hardest moments of my life are there for me to teach me something about myself. These moments are there to help me grow and expend my consciousness. Though, of course, when faced with tough situations, I find it hard to think philosophically and outside the square at first... :)

So, I believe that it is important for me to take responsibility for my life, my growth and my needs; as oppose to dedicating this responsibility to someone else. It can be very challenging at first. However, at the same time, it is very empowering. Taking this responsibility has transformed and still transforms my life in many ways.

Pass

Pass to the left. Pass to the right.
Another pass is ahead of me.
Which pass should I pick?
Which one is right?
Too many questions and no answers.

Dilemma of choices is tearing me apart.
Decision is mine to make.
Making a choice seems to be very hard.
Which pass should I take?

Anxiety and fear come out of the darkest corners within me.
Dealing with them is hard.
I feel trapped and want to set myself free.
Where is the way out?

I sit quietly in my chair.
Waiting for the wave of emotions to pass by.
Waiting for the light to start shining ahead of me
And lighten the way.

The hope is finally here.